When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
