I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
God, I missed his penis.
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