she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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