My nipple is on Facebook.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and she was petting her beer can
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
