After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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