who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
