And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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