She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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