i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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