found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
