im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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