you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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