In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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