I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize