Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
