If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
