it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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