there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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