How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
