Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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