Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
