Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
