I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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