i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
then he tried to convert me to islam
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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