You're so nebulous sometimes
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
