Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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