the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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