I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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