Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
