If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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