4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
