I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
