Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
