if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I look better un-naked...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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