Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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