You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
