Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
