Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize