Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
