Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
