Jerry, you need to find god
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize