how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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