This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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