What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize