I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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