My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
