I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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