Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
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All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
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not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize