So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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