Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize