There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize