Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The best revenge is premature balding
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
