this beer tastes like vomit already
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize