hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
