and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
