It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
