the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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