I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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