I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We just shotgunned beers for America
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
