So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
