i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
